On The Fritz: October 2011

So I was certainly knocked off my "high horse" of defending my self proclaimed superiority of not buying into what I deemed another "baby gear marketing ploy". Knocked me right on my ass, with the chicken pox. I remember specifically at An Zen on my birthday over seaweed salad, spicy tuna, and caterpillar rolls, passing judgement on a family seated across the restaurant. Their toddler snuggled & shielded by a pink and pastel floral fabric high chair cover. Spattered with rice & teriyaki sauce. In an eye rolling, accusatory tone I said to Johnathan "Look at those poor marketing victims. Why would you waste 40 dollars on one of those fabric high chair/shopping cart covers? It's not as if Pender doesn't touch more germ infested surfaces throughout the day, and puts his fingers promptly in his mouth. It seems like taking precautionary parenting to the utmost extreme. What is covering two of those potentially disease laden objects going to prevent?!"

Well. The chicken pox for one. Now that the varicella vaccine is given at 12 months, the occurrence of chicken pox has been reduced substantially. Our pediatrician said she only sees a couple cases a year. Great. I'm soooo fortunate my 8 month old won't need the varicella vaccine after all. So as we were enduring quarantine conditions and self imposed social extrication, the common question (via text, phone, chat) was "Where did he get it?" It was sometime in-between bathing Pender for the third oatmeal bath of the day, or attempting to "dab" on caladryl onto his pox (aka chase a naked baby around the bathroom, utilizing a combination of toys and cotton balls to apply the medicine, or using a restraint hold I learned while working in the group home to get Pender to take some Benedryl) that I was accosted with my own words "What is covering those potentially disease laden objects going to prevent?" So much for being fianacially minded and fiscally frugal. I would have paid hundreds of dollars to prevent the uncomfort & pain of my baby, the demands & havoc on myself, the rest of the family, the house, and those of you that may have received some irrational & maniacal texts or emails from this frayed out mom.

I have to admit we had some real low points that week. The rock bottom was at the McDonalds drive thru. Double fisting a chocolate milk shake and a diet coke was only the beginning. I ended up doing what I only do on road-trips in the middle of Nebraska, I bought food. Not just a cheeseburger happy meal for Zayne. But a chicken nuggets happy meal for myself. I'd like to blame the vacation prep for Michigan, lack of sleep, cranky baby, doctors visits, social isolation, or that Zayne wanted Power Ranger toys. But really, the excuses? I would just be deceiving myself. And god forbid we do that...(said with full-blown irony as I stashed the trash in the bottom of the garbage to hide it from Johnathan who despises McDonalds after working there in high school & informs us that we are not to patronize those establishments or *gasp* bring that food into his house.) Marketing victims indeed.

Crisis mode will do that to the best of us. I'm learning that there will be a turning point. So next time I start exhibiting signs of psychosis after a week of no workouts, showers, & sleep, I have a script for myself. "You are coping, you are not crazy, just a little mentally hilarious. Get through the week with chocolate & diet coke. Then go for a run & listen to Pantera, take a bath & listen to Diana Krall and you'll be ready to approach life as your beautiful awesome self instead of the threadbare stranger currently staring you in the mirror."

4am. Good morning all: