Disclaimer

This is my first attempt at developing into a literary humorist. Perhaps ambitious, but eventually I'm aspiring to be the female, heterosexual, modern momma, suburbanite version of David Sedaris ;-)

If that statement right there didn't encapsulate my "tongue in cheek" humor approach, I don't know how else to say it, except, don't take what I say too literally. Remember in High School English when we would have "journals" that we would have to freewrite in for 5 minutes, about some random topic? I'm expecting that some posts will be exactly that. Random, garbled, & rant like, inspired by anything from my children to some atrociously amusing victim of my ever constant people watching.

I've never been a photographer. Although, I see life through pictures, they flow more like stories through my mind. Short vignettes, that capture the gist of the scene. I've realized that if I want any trace of documenting my children's life, this will be the only way I will salvage those now poignant & precious memories. I've never been a scrapbook-er. I don't have anything against it, it is just that the few times in which I attempted to create a page (cutting, gluing, sticking...) I felt as if I was having an internal experience of 'nails on the chalkboard'. If it is your joy, serenity, therapy, and/or outlet, I applaud you! We all need them (I have some of those of my own, like sex, sex has never conjured up that 'nails on the chalkboard' feeling for me.) And as for the digital scrap-booking, you need some picture taking skills. Johnathan put it best when Zayne was born as he was looking through the digital camera at shots I'd taken of our newborn. "Now Janelle, I let your lack of photography skills slide the last 7 years, but now we have a son. These are terrible. Do I need to sign you up for a photography class!?"

Which brings me to my next disclaimer. I take liberties with direct quotations. The integrity of the statement is always maintained, but seriously, it's not as if I walk around constantly using one of those microphone apps. Although, maybe I should. I could suddenly whip out my phone mid-conversation, to begin dictating quotes verbatim in a sexy, sultry voice, like the author/ mother/character in the movie "Troop Beverly Hills". Now if you don't get that 80's movie reference then you need to go to Netflix immediately. Unless you are a guy, because that would just be a little "Lolita" type creepy (adolescent girl scouts... you get my drift). What am I saying, I'm the one that recently rescued my old girl scout vest from a box of 'keepsakes' and put it with my "Halloween costumes". Like I said, random, garbled, rant.